The Earth Shall Not Be Moved

Brian Dean bridean@worldnet.att.net
Mon, 27 Apr 1998 21:40:26 -0400 (00893745626, 19980428012917.AAA18132@briandea) 

DICK
Nothing necessarily follows anything. This is your
fallacy of post hoc ergo propter hoc, a new one for
you. This also implies you have faith in the Religion
of Science's Law of Causality.

BRIDEAN

>From your visitor's goose you found a star

And they glowed in my food until he avoided your glue.
One million, five hundred thousand, six hundred twenty five
     meters from the hawk.
Heavy from it's joke of quilts.
You improved your vehicle, and your female,
To quit your abandonment when he fights it's concert with his luck.
I think that this fact is impossible because God does not come
      when you rot your ear.



>BRIDEAN

>And which particular word did I use two or more different meanings of?


DICK
Did.

BRIDEAN
What does the word "did" mean?


>DICK

>Well, mine indicates that I ignore and forget to pay

>some timely, so we have something in common finally.

>I'm gradually moving all mine to the bank to be paid

>automatically. 



>BRIDEAN

>I thought you said that only fools put their money in banks.


DICK
No, what I said was that only fools keep their money in 
banks. Mine wouldn't be kept there if the bank paid it
out.

BRIDEAN
Well, lets see.  In order for the bank to pay your bills it would have
to use money.  It is unlikely that they would be willing to use their
own money, so they would have to use someone else's.  Let me 
guess, perhaps your money?  And how would they pay it using
your money?  Well, in order to use it, they would sort of like, have
your money.  And since this process isn't instantaneous, they 
would have to do something, like keep your money, at least for
the period of time necessary to pay it.



>BRIDEAN

>Sort of like the slipery slope of "Humane Vitae"?


No, Humane Vitae (I think but never bothered to look) is
infallibly true.

DICK
So you really believe that birth control leads to abortion and unrestrained
sex?
DICK
Oops, almost said fallacy of reification but the church
is different since it can be reified. The church is
eternal. I have no need for my car. Didn't really cost
me anything since I can always sell it for a lot more
than the plating cost. I paid ten grand but it raises
the value of the car twenty-five grand. It's probably
worth more now than what I paid for it. My wife wants
me to get rid of it because she's embarrassed to ride
in it. It's also bright yellow and she would prefer a
more sedate blue or black.

BRIDEAN
You must be joking!  An armored car for $10000?  Are you serious?
If you really splurged and financed and decided to pay $10100 would
it then come with an extra CD player?



>BRIDEAN

>I never claimed to be an adult. But I am older than 5 years.


DICK
Hmm. The Law of the Included Middle. And a word:

"adult: developed and mature"

So, do you claim undeveloped and immature but older than
5 years?

BRIDEAN
Where did you get such a claim?  Oh, I forgot, you never make claims.


>BRIDEAN

>How does "this one right here" fit the definition of "kindergarten"?


DICK
"kin.der.gar.ten n [G, fr. Kinder children + Garten garden]
 (1852): a school or class for children usu. from four to
 six years old"

The average mental age of this list is 5.1254 years, and
I'm teaching it, so it's a kindergarten.

BRIDEAN
I don't see any evidence that you are "teaching" this list.  Where did
you get 5.1254 from?  Rather strange number coming from someone
who says he doesn't know anything about math.  Is 5.1254 an exact
number or approximate.  If it is exact, then 5.1254 = 25627/5000.
So unless you are using decimals in your ages as well, you are telling
me that there are 5000 people on this list.  If you are using decimal
ages, you would need to use each persons age accurate to within
0.05 in order to come to that exact fiqure given the number of people
on this list.