<<Helen Friesen
<< The disaster is definitely not a laughing matter, but I really couldn't
help
laughing out loud while reading your story, Tod. Your absolutely perfect
wording described the incredulous stupidity of the religious so very well,
one
couldn't help but laugh at them. I printed it out and showed it to my
husband
who found it just as amusing. I'll keep the printout. >>
DAR
I agree. I forwarded it to just about everyone in my address book.
I look forward to travelling with Tod to Farrell's debate later this
month.
cheers,
Darrel
------------------------
GOD HAS CALL-WAITING
(from NOTES OF A NERVOUS MAN by James Lileks)
As it stands now, the whole human race ought to sue God
for negligence. Look at it this way: if I father a child and head
for the hills before the infant is toweled off, the mother has
every legal right to haul me before a court of law and demand I
pony up whatever it takes to keep Junior happy. Yet God
creates an entire universe, spends the Old Testament behaving
in a way that should have earned Him a restraining order, then
spends the last couple of millennia incommunicado. Thanks,
Dad...
...our preacher dined on the hardtack of the Old Testament,
where god behaves as though his corns are killing him. As a tot
I was given the usual terrifying mixed message: (a) God is
love; and (b) If you don't believe how much He loves you, you
will stand in the corner for eternity. Just like being bad at
school, except that your tongue will be pulled out, hot pokers
will plunge into your eyes, your very flesh will boil and melt,
and your butt will have an itch you will not be allowed to
scratch. That does not encourage a love of God; if anything,
the child decides to stay as afar away from this God fellow as
possible, for He clearly has a screw loose...
My faith remains undeterred. I believe in Someone Out There -
- call Him God, since other names, like Festus or Darrin, do
not seem to fit -- but am not entirely certain He is all that
mindful of what goes on down here. Example: Recently a
tornado destroyed a town in Texas and dropped a church roof
on a batch of worshippers. One of the few things left standing
were two plaster statues, one of Jesus, the other of Joseph. The
townspeople, according to the news, "Looked at the statues'
survival as a sign of God's love."
Hold the phone. This sounds like the he-beats-me-because-
he-loves-me line of thought. If the Lord in his infinite wisdom
drops a concrete roof on the true believers but spares two
hunks of modeling compound, it is time to question the big
Fella's priorites. If I have to be made up of plaster to command
attention in this universe, something is amiss.
Which is why god should show up again. Explain that He's
not in charge of the weather, or the outcome of baseball
games, or marriages. That illness is not punishment but is
actually heaven's version of the Daily Lotto, with the winners
listed in the obituary columns."
****************
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