An inerrant Bible for you guys
Ian & Pam Dorion dorioni@ipa.net
Sun, 14 Dec 1997 07:41:42 -0600 (00882128502, 199712141342.HAA06820@siren.ipa.net)
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> From: Brian Dean <bridean@hotmail.com>
> To: errancy@infidels.org
> Subject: An inerrant Bible for you guys
> Date: Sunday, December 14, 1997 1:25 AM
>
> I have received a message from God which has inspired me to finally
> write an inerrant Bible. Here it goes.
>
> ______________________________________________________
>
> The Book of Brian
>
> Everything that Brian Michael Dean says that comes from God is true.
> Also whenever Brian Michael Dean says that he has gotten this
> message from God, this is also infallible and true. Brian Michael
> Dean currently lives in Columbus Ohio and works for a company
> called Conquest which has mergered and is becoming a part of
> another company called Smartalk. He works as a computer programmer
> writing programs in Visual C++. He also has a Bachelor's degree
> in Mathematics.
>
> Everything in this Book of Brian is inerrant and true for God told
> Brian to write this book. God has also ordained it to be true that
> in order to be saved, you must eat pepperoni pizza at least once a
> month and you must believe that God will save you for eating this
> pizza.
>
> As to this book being true, it is prophisized that because of this
> book, a certain girl who is now single and a freethinker, will see
> this and try to get to know this Brian Dean a little better.
>
> That is all for the Book of Brian. Not some really boring, long,
> gross book like the Bible. If anyone adds to the Book of Brian,
> then God will add that persons least favorite topings to his
> pepperoni pizza. If anyone takes away from the Book of Brian, God
> will take away certain chances of meeting any certain special person.
>
> ________________________________________________________
>
> I would like to say that this book is infallible not only because
> it claims to be infallible, but because it describes events which
> are in fact true about Brian Dean. It can not be disproved because
> the prophesy about not meeting someone can always be claimed (i.e.
> it is not falsifiable). I left the prophesy about the single girl vague
> enough that any response at all from a single girl would suffice as a
> fulfillment of it. Plus, what better use is there for writing an
> infallible book than getting a date? :-)
>
> Anyway, what do you guys think?
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
IAN
You have given me the opportunity I have been waiting for. Here are a
couple axioms to live by. The first is for singles and the second is for
marrieds.
1. It's better to be lonely once in a while than miserable all the time.
2. There's nothing wrong with marriage that a divorce won't cure.
(I happen to be happily married.)
P.S. What causes my computer to freeze up occasionally?