(Fwd) A little Wednesday humor
Ralph Nielsen nielsen@uidaho.edu
Wed, 13 Aug 1997 08:55:22 -0700 (00871509322, v03007800b017888284a6@[129.101.112.88])
RALPH NIELSEN
Here is a little levity that my wife just forwarded from work. It's partly
biblical.
>Organization: University of Idaho Library
>To: nielsen@uidaho.edu (Ralph Nielsen)
>Date: Wed, 13 Aug 1997 07:57:39 -800
>Subject: (Fwd) A little Wednesday humor
>Priority: normal
>>
>>NERVOUS PRIEST
>>
>>The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak.
>>Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he
>>could relax.
>>
>>The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some vodka in the
>>water pitcher. The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into
>>practice and was able to talk up a storm. He felt great! However, upon
>>returning to the rectory he found a note from the Monsignor.
>>
>>Dear Father,
>>
>>1. Next time sip rather than gulp.
>>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>>4. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
>>5. The recommended grace before meals is not "Rubadubdub, thanks for the
>> grub. Yeah God!"
>>6. We do not refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and His Apostles as "J.C.
>> and the Boys".
>>7. David slew Goliath, he did not "kick the sh__ out of him".
>>8. Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he didn't pass water.
>>9. We don't refer to Judas as "El Finko".
>>10. The Pope is consecrated, not castrated.
>>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper, he said "Take this and
>> eat it, for it is my body", he did not say "Eat me".
>>12. David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, he wasn't "stoned
>> off his a__".
>>13. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are never referred to as "Big Daddy,
>> Junior and The Spook".
>>14. Last, but not least, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.
>> Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.