Re: The Big Fig Newton
HOBBSK@ACAD.RIPON.EDU
Wed, 02 Apr 1997 12:01:04 +0000 (CSZ)
>>Izz:
>>Poor Yoel! His wits are addled, He thinks he is a fundie! :-) -
>>very well, Yoel, you asked for it!
>>
>>Yoel, please explain how Jesus cursed the tree before and after? Go on,
>>tell me how Jesus came upon a fig tree (Mark 11:12), cursed it, (Mark
>>11:14) then entered the Temple and overturned the tables "cleansing" it
>>(Mark 11:15) (DON"T FORGET THER WHIP) then
>>what? Did he leave and curse it again?
>
>yoel-
>I am consulting the Holy Spirit and.... (aggravating rotating clock
>icon).... awaiting transmission.... Oh... here is the message.... it's
>downloading... Oh, the Spirit says..."Yes". This is exactly what Jesus
>did, in his divine wisdom. He cursed the fig tree, went into the temple
>WITH A WHIP, kicked some Jewish ass, then went out again, so exhilarated
>from the excitement that for good measure, he cursed it again.
>
>>Izzy
>>Whatsa matter, was his first curse too
>>weak, the tree needed a double whammy from the Son of God?
>
>yoel:
>Who am I to question God? His ways are not our ways. He is perfect and
>can do as he sees fit. Praise his holy name, halleluyah! He lives in my
>heart and I know him as I know my pet Labrador Lulu. He walks with me
>and he talks with me.
HOBBS
There! See, Izz? In addition to the possibility that it was two
different trees, there is the possibility that Jesus zapped the same
tree twice! So that's double proof that this passage is not
contradictory! Perhaps Jesus' dad knew that there would be different
people outside the temple when Jesus was done whipping some butt, and he
wanted his kid to have an opportunity to show his fig zapping abilities
to these other people, so he revived the tree while Jesus was raising
hell in the temple. Remember, they work as a team. Christianity is such
a bargain: you get three gods for the price of one! And, if you act now,
you get cooked figs thrown in with the deal for good measure! How can
you possibly resist such an offer?