Not X marks the spot

yoel haalmoni (core@rof.net)
Sun, 20 Apr 1997 08:10:16 -0600 (MDT)

TILL
>Well, again, just who is not reading the relevant texts closely enough to
>see the contradiction? Verse 7, which Walt quoted above, states that Saul
>"smote" the Amalekites from Havilah to Shur and "utterly destroyed ALL THE
>PEOPLE with the edge of the sword" (with the exception of Agag, as noted),
>but look at what 1 Samuel 27:8 says about David's raid on the Amalekites:
>"And David and his men went up and made a raid upon the Geshurites, and the
>Girzites, and the Amalekites, for these nations were the inhabitants of the
>land, who were of old, as you go to SHUR EVEN UNTO THE LAND OF EGYPT." So
>the one text states that Saul utterly destroyed the Amalekites (except for
>Agag) from Havilah to Shur, but the other states that there were still
>Amalekites in the region from Shur to Egypt.

yoel-

No, Mr. Till... there is no contradiction here.

Saul DID smite all of the Amalekites from Havilah to Shur. But there was a
tour group of Amalekites on a Carnival Cruise and when they got back, saw
that all of their kinfolk from Havilah to Shur had been slaughtered, they
fled southward to Egypt, went to the Amelekite neighbourhoods of Cairo, got
the people all stirred up, and they came back to take revenge on the
Israelites who had slaughtered all of their relatives.

But the Amalekites did not go north of Shur, because when they got there,
the sultry and surly prophetess Shirley, she of the talking ass*, came out
to warn them and that they not should surely not enter lest they surely die
and they said "Sure, surly Shirley the sultry seeress, surely the Lord is
in this place", and it is called thus (Shur) to this day! (with a few minor
spelling alterations due to Hebreo-Jurassic ARCHAISMS).

But Shirley was a double agent for the Israelites, sent to stall the
Amalekites, lest they disrupt David's cavorting with Batsheva. When David
had finished, God sent him to Shur to fulfill the prophecy "Thou shalt
SHURLY die" Genesis whatever).

There is no contradiction here.

* see Numbers 22:21-33 and Pink Flamingos