For sheer absurdity, few tales in pagan mythology can match the
biblical story of the Egyptian plagues. The incidents that led eventually
to the death of all first-born in the land and quickly thereafter to the
Israelite exodus from Egypt began with a tit-for-tat confrontation between
Moses and Aaron and pharaoh's magicians (Ex. 7:8-13). To show the
power that Moses and Aaron had in reserve, Aaron, we are told, cast
his rod down, and, presto, it became a serpent. Apparently
unimpressed by Aaron's demonstration, pharaoh called for his
magicians and sorcerers, who "did in like manner with their enchant-
ments." Aaron's rod, however, swallowed the rods of pharaoh's magi-
cians. At this point, we might wonder why the "inspired" writer of this
quaint little tale said that Aaron's rod swallowed the rods of pharaoh's
magicians. Surely it would have been the serpent that had been Aaron's
rod swallowed the serpents that had been the magicians' rods. To spare
inerrantists the trouble of lecturing us on the figure of speech called
ampliatio, however, I won't quibble about the word used to designate what
swallowed what, although this does seem to be a careless bit of writing by
one whose hand was presumably guided by the omniscient god who
created the universe. Just suffice it to say that Aaron's rod or serpent,
whichever the case may have been, saved the day by swallowing the
magicians' rods or serpents, whichever the case may have been. Score one
for Yahweh and the good guys.
If one accepts the premise that God once routinely and personally
intervened in the affairs of men to achieve whatever results he desired,
there is admittedly nothing in this story so far that could be characterized
as preposterous. Beyond this point, however, as we will soon see, that
situation changes dramatically, and absurdity is quickly piled upon
absurdity. What we want to glean from this part of the story before we
wade through the sea of absurdities that follows is the evident fact that
whoever wrote this part of the Bible obviously intended the tale of the
Egyptian plagues to be perceived as a confrontation between the power
of Yahweh invested in Moses and Aaron and the magic of pharaoh's
magicians. The writer's strategy seemed to be to tell the story as a tit-
for-tat contest between the power of Yahweh and the power of pharaoh's
magicians until finally the magicians would have to give up and admit
that Yahweh's power was greater than theirs. It was a good idea to apply
to the duel of the rods, but in choosing to continue it into the infliction of
the plagues, the writer very quickly got himself into a peck of trouble.
Apparently still unimpressed with Aaron's power, even after the
swallowing of the other rods (serpents?), pharaoh refused to release the
Israelites from bondage. Yahweh then showed him a thing or two by
sending the famous plagues upon the land of Egypt. The first plague was
the changing of the water of Egypt into blood. Through Moses, Yahweh
commanded Aaron to stretch his rod, which had once been a serpent,
over the waters of Egypt to change them into blood. To understand just
how complete and thorough this plague was said to be, let's notice the
passage that recorded the event. For the sake of clarity, I will quote the
New Revised Standard Version:
Thus says the LORD (Yahweh), "By this you shall know that I am the
LORD (Yahweh). See with the staff that is in my hand I will strike the
water
that is in the Nile, and it shall be turned to blood. The fish in the
river shall
die, the river itself shall stink, and the Egyptians shall be unable to
drink water
from the Nile." The LORD (Yahweh) said to Moses, "Say to Aaron, `Take
your staff and stretch out your hand over the waters of Egypt--over its
rivers,
its canals, and its ponds, and all its pools of water--so that they may
become
blood; and there shall be blood *throughout the whole land of Egypt, even in
vessels of wood and in vessels of stone.*'"
Moses and Aaron did just as the LORD (Yahweh) commanded. In the
sight of Pharaoh and of his officials he lifted up the staff and struck
the water
in the river, and all the water in the river was turned into blood, and
the fish in
the river died. The river stank so that the Egyptians could not drink
its water,
and *there was blood throughout the whole land of Egypt.* But the magicians
of Egypt did the same by their secret arts (Ex. 7:17-22).
One wonders why Yahweh said, "See, with the staff that is in my hand I
will strike the water that is in the Nile," when the staff wasn't in
Yahweh's hand; it was in Aaron's hand. Although this also strikes me as
rather careless writing on the part of an "inspired" writer, again I won't
quibble. This will spare inerrantists the trouble of an excursion into that
land of far-fetched, how-it-could-have-been scenarios that fundamentalist
apologists are famous for. "Well, you see, in saying that the rod was in
his hand, God could have meant that the power in the rod ultimately
emanated from him, or he could have meant blah, blah, blah, and etc.,
etc., etc." What would they do without figurative "explanations" when
they find themselves in tight spots!
There is an even greater problem than careless writing in this
passage; the thinking behind the writing was incredibly myopic. It is one
thing to say that after Aaron cast his rod down and changed it into a
serpent, pharaoh's magicians "did in like manner with their enchantments";
it is quite another to say that after Moses and Aaron had changed
all of the water into blood throughout the whole land of Egypt down
to the water in vessels of wood and vessels of stone, "the magicians
of Egypt did the same by their secret arts" (v:22). Please notice the
emphasized statements in the passage above (by enclosure in asterisks)
to see that the extent of the plague was allegedly as thorough and
complete as I have indicated. How, then, could pharaoh's
magicians have duplicated Aaron's feat this time? If Aaron had
changed all of the water throughout the whole land of Egypt
into blood, including even the water in stone and wooden vessels, there
would have been no water available for pharaoh's magicians to show
their stuff and duplicate the feat. I would think thatany inerrantist
should be able to see this, but if they can't, perhaps someone can at
least explain to us how the magicians were able to pull off this
remarkable stunt. At any rate, we have to score one for pharaoh
and the bad guys this time. Moses and Aaron merely changed
all the water there was into blood; pharaoh's magicians changed
all the water there wasn't into blood. They were some magicians,
to say the least.
Hence, what we have here is a story that amounts to asserting X (all
the water of Egypt was changed into blood) but not X (all the water
of Egypt was NOT changed into blood).
Farrell Till
Skepticism, Inc.
jftill@midwest.net